From Humanitarians to Refugees

“It’s strange how quickly life can change. One day, you're helping refugees  – providing hope, support and comfort. The next, you are a refugee yourself.” 

This is the stark reality for many aid workers in Sudan. As the conflict ripped through the country, stories of suffering and survival filled every corner. But amidst those stories are the quieter, often unseen narratives – of humanitarians who continue working despite losing everything, of those who continued to serve while silently enduring their own pain. 

In Sudan’s unforgiving war, no one has been spared. Everyone has born the weight of loss differently. 

An FAO staff member, Eilaf’s mission didn’t stop when the war began. Even after fleeing her home, she remains committed to supporting others. Delivering aid became not just a job but a lifeline – to her country, and to herself. 

“I couldn’t write my own story” 

For Eilaf, FAO Sudan’s Communications and Reporting Specialist, writing had always been a sanctuary – a space to process emotions, document, hope and heal. But when war broke out, even words abandoned her. 

“I keep writing the stories of others, but I can’t write mine,” she says. “The pain is more than words. Nothing I write can ever express how I feel.” 

The war began during Ramadan, a month she used to wait eagerly for. Now, it’s a painful reminder. “Every year, I welcome Ramadan with fear. The fear of war, massacres and grief.” 

Eilaf and her family spent five agonizing days trapped in their home in Khartoum, fasting in the scorching summer heat without electricity or water. “It was hard to breathe,” she recalls. “My mother gave me a foldable fan, trying to ease my discomfort.” The nights were darker than she’d ever known, filled with the deafening sounds of bombs, drones and airstrikes. “I’ve always been terrified of the dark. I stayed up all night crying. My brother risked his life to get me a torch.” That fan and torch remain her most treasured belongings, carried with her wherever she goes. 

Eilaf’s cherished torch and fan—always by her side. ©FAO/Eilaf Abdelbasit.

When they finally fled, she had ten minutes to pack. 

“I didn’t get to say goodbye to my home. I grabbed my laptop so I could keep working, my passport in case we needed to leave the country, and my certificates – years of hard work I couldn’t afford to lose. But I forgot my father’s photos – the only thing I had left of him. That’s what hurts the most.” 

The escape was terrifying. They were forced to drive on a road that was being actively attacked. 

“I knew, stepping into that car, that I might get killed, kidnapped or raped. But more than my own life, I feared losing my family. I saw people running with children in their arms, cars loaded with frightened families, the army patrolling the streets. It felt like the end of the world. Like those scenes in movies – except it was real. And it was us.” 

Eventually, Eilaf and her family made the difficult decision to leave Sudan altogether. 

They travelled to Halfa, in Sudan’s far north, before crossing the border into Egypt. Now, Eilaf lives in Cairo. 

 “I’m safe. I’m grateful. But I’m also a refugee now – a truth I’ve known since day one but haven’t fully accepted. My body is here, but my heart is still back in Sudan. I carry a sadness that doesn’t fade. I don’t feel like myself anymore. It’s as if I left my soul behind.” 

Still she serves. Even when she had every reason to stop, she chose to continue. 

Eilaf’s home was destroyed, her life upended and her heart heavy with grief. Yet, she keeps going – not for herself, but for others.  

On this World Refugee Day, we honor humanitarians who became refugees, who transformed their pain into purpose and chose compassion over despair. Their stories remind us that resilience is not just surviving, but still choosing to serve when you, too, are broken. 

Let us stand with them – and all refugees – not only today, but every day. 

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The use of the term refugee in this article does not refer to a particular legal status. Refugee in this article refers to the following 1951 Convention and UNHCR definition: Refugees are persons who are outside their country of origin for reasons of feared persecution, conflict, generalized violence, or other circumstances that have seriously disturbed public order and, as a result, require international protection.